The Purity Promise Means Waiting for Marriage

March is national celibacy month, and while some people will take the challenge to avoid sexual activity for the month, some people make chastity a long-term goal for their lives. One such individual, Tiara Fox, has even put a ring on it.

The purity ring movement started in the 1990’s as Christian organizations were promoting abstinence in youth. The ring symbolizes the promise to oneself and others to abstain from sex until marriage.

Tiara Fox, a 20-year-old student studying political science, has made the purity promise in her life. Her motivation for the promise was primarily based upon her relationship with God

“For me [the purity promise] just really means that I am waiting for the man that God picked for me,” said Fox.

Fox says that abstinence is a “good choice” and that youth, especially at the ages of 12 to 13, should really consider making the purity promise.

“It’s a good decision because later on,  you will figure out that it’s the greatest thing you could have ever achieved because its not something that is being done right now. In our generation it’s not something that’s popular to do because everything is with the fads and everything is with a movement.”

Fox advised that anyone who is considering to make the promise should really think it through and involve other people in their decision.

“Really talk to your pastor, or your youth advisor or mentor. Talk to your parents about it  and tell them how you feel…Find out more information about it and study your bible. Talk to your pastor about it and pray about it. And talk to God about it.”

Even if God is not the focus, Fox explained that abstinence until marriage is a smart route. She and her sisters were born out of wedlock, and while their home is joyfilled, she explains that things could have been different.

“I grew up with family members who were getting pregnant at young ages. I really looked at how much they struggled, and I really looked at how their lives turned out. [I think to myself] I don’t ever want to be in that situation and I don’t ever want to continue that cycle or that pattern of women in our family getting pregnant or doing things that they shouldn’t have done…. [One influence on my decision] was watching how my mom’s life played out from getting pregnant at a young age and not being married, and just really having a tough time with me and my sisters when we were younger,” said Fox.

“I’m not knocking down anyone that gets pregnant at a young age or anything because, yes, you can still be successful and yes, you can still make it. That’s very true that you can still be successful, but God would prefer it if you wait until you are married and then have sex because [otherwise] things are out of order.  You’re not really in order when you [have premarital sex]. I think that’s just common sense even if you kind of took God out of it…. People say that is old fashioned, but I see it’s the right way to do  things because you are more mature and you know that you are more aware of things than when you are at a young age.”

Abstinence isn’t just for the virgin as Fox stated that it is “never too late.” “Who said you can’t say, ‘Okay, I’m not going to  have sex until I get married, that’s it?’ Cut it off. Just say, ‘I’m going to remain abstinent until I’m married.’”

Fox explained that making the purity promise has expanded her independence as her desires had shifted from being centered on guys and relationships to school, family, and God.

“I think it’s because I understand that God has the man that He wants me to be with and I need to  wait for him to find me,” said Fox. “I think that’s the reason why I’ve become more confident in myself and I’ve kind of put off dating. I’ve really just decided to work on being independent and really growing myself. I can’t love somebody else or be in a relationship with somebody else  if I don’t even understand who I am or if I’m not confident in myself.”

“What I would  tell people is that [the purity promise] is a great choice, a great decision because you are choosing to wait for the  person that God has for you. You choose to wait for your husband or your wife,” said Fox.

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