Not fitting in is something we all worry about

Dear Rylee

Lately I have been realizing that when hanging with my friends it seems as if everything they are do- ing is…more important than what I do. They are always busy doing important things for their high profile job. I am a full time student and they got great jobs right out of High School. It seems as if I have taken the back burner to their lives. Whenever we do anything, like lunch, it is always a hassle to schedule us all together. Not to mention that they always make comments about not being able to go to the ‘nicer’ restaurants because I can- not afford the more expensive food. What can I do??

Sincerely Alone in a Crowded Room

Dear Alone in Crowded Room

It is natural to feel awkward and out of place when things change dramatically over a short period of time.

You went from being best friends, always together, in high school to being best friends, now with a life, in the real world. Let’s get one thing straight,you have nothing to feel bad about nor should you feel bad.

You are a full time college student trying to further your education. That does not happen overnight.

Getting a good job that works around your schedule and pays well is not easy to find.

Not to mention that getting a job right after college is not easy either. Here is something I hope will help.

1. Every time you make plans with your friends, take a deep breathe.

According to Online Health Mag- azine deep breathes in tense situations can help stop stress before it even begins.

This is going to help you keep control of your emotions so that all of your pent up ‘back burner’ feelings do not suddenly take on a life of their own and start whiplashing your friends in the face.

2. Ask them if there is one day a week or even a month that you guys can call a ‘no schedule day’.

This means that they cannot schedule any work events on that day so that you all have one day a week or month that is always for you guys.

Therefore you guys don’t have to keep playing phone tree over and over again with each other to see what days will work. You will always have that day (ex.

The 15th of every month or every other Friday) free for one another. Less hassle.

3. Ask them not to talk about work or business while you guys are together.

Do not be afraid to tell them how you feel.

If your friends cannot accept how you feel and or appreciate the guts it took to confront them then maybe it is time to find new friends.

There is nothing wrong about ask- ing for some girl time with no phones or work involved. Be bold.

And last but not least 4. If your friends make comments about the places you guys eat or the things you have to do because you cannot afford something better, then it is time you girls have a serious conversation.

You need to sit down and tell them how you feel about their comments and about how their comments make you feel.

As your friends they should understand and if not there is nothing wrong with excusing yourself from the get togethers.

You have no reason to stick around in a situation where people are just going to make you feel bad about yourself and what you are trying to accomplish.

I hope everything goes well! Best of Luck!

Rylee

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