Dear Rylee Special Edition: Making the First Move: Men’s Edition

Here it is men, although there are women out there who are bold and aggressive when it comes to making the first move, most women shy away from being initiators in the dating world. A woman wants to know that you can approach them without being afraid.

Women want to be pursued by men, ultimately you must have enough courage to make the first move.

Don’t be a cowardly lion   Women in our society have been taught to play hard,  for the fear of being considered easy. There is no doubt that making the first move is nerve-wracking, but women want men to take chances i.e., asking them out, planning an evening, or kissing them when they lease expect it.

Going out on a limb and being rejected can be frustrating, but you will get nowhere fast if you refuse to take initiative. Don’t be like the cowardly lion hiding in the shadows, take the risk.

Get in the mindset Confidence is the best thing you can wear.

You cannot hit on a woman from across the room, so muster up the confidence, plan your first line (No, corny lines please gentlemen and no “You liking the weather?’ comments either).

Make it relevant to the atmosphere you are in. If there is a band playing, comment on them, see how she feels about the band.

If her glass is empty or getting close to empty then ask her if you can buy her another one. If she says, “no I am done drinking for the night” this isn’t a turn down; just ask her if she would like a non-alcoholic beverage.

She might be impressed that you listened to what she actually said.

Read the body language You cannot always know 100% if she is ready to be pursued, but you can always watch her body language.

While she is flirting with you, she might move in closer, play with her hair, or touch you accidentally. These are body language signs that say she wants you to pursue her. But this is not a James bond movie, she is not going to swoon over you, take you home, and throw off her clothes.

Remember that just because you may think she is a one night stand, she isn’t. Women want to be courted; they want flowers, and romantic dates. If the only thing you are trying to do is score; she will see right through it.

Keep in mind, each woman is different,  I recommend you carefully observe their body language to make sure she’s receptive to your advances. Even though you may feel as if she is sending you the green light, the last thing you want to do is scare her away by coming on too aggressive. (I.E. shoving your tongue down her throat.)

If she tells you she has school in the morning, or work, she is probably telling you that it is not the right time.

Recognize, there is more to making the first move, it’s about making  a connection too.