Valerie Ettenhofer
Staff Writer

One in six women has been a victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network.

If this seems like an unrealistic statistic, let’s put it this way. In the past school year alone I’ve met at least four women who, though they go through their days the same as everyone else, have revealed to me that they’ve been victims of sexual crimes.

People may think that if they’re not a rapist themselves, there is no way for them to help stop these attacks from happening. There are actually several ways any person can change their learned mindset about rape in order to better support victims and encourage them to come forward.

Rape culture is any form of media that perpetuates the idea that a person should not have consent over who they have sex with. This can be anything from television shows that imply that it’s okay to take advantage of someone who is drunk or otherwise incapacitated, to pressure situations that lead women to feel as if the owe a man sex for being kind, paying for dinner or even being their husband.

People often touch upon jokes about rape as being especially offensive, but the larger issue behind rape culture is victim blaming.

How often have you heard someone say “she’s asking for it” in regards to a female’s revealing outfit. While modesty is a valuable trait, no one should ever be able to justify sexual violence based on the appearance of the other person. This excuse is as preposterous as a woman saying that she forced a man to sleep with her because she saw him shirtless and just know he wanted her to do it.

The idea that anyone asks for sex through their clothing alone assumes somewhat offensively that men are all hormonally-driven fiends who can’t help themselves when they see flesh.

Victim blaming also occurs in situations where a woman was drinking. Because the victim wasn’t in full control of herself, many people think that she was responsible for what happened to her.

If you get drunk, you are responsible for being drunk and that alone. You aren’t responsible for getting raped. Several victims of prominent rape cases in the past year have been bullied by people who act as if they should’ve known something like that would happen when under the influence. I’d like to believe this isn’t the kind of world where anyone who drinks should always expect they might be violated.

In March, two teens were found guilty of raping a girl at a party and recording the event. CNN’s coverage of their conviction focused largely on the way the football players had lost their promising futures, garnering sympathy for the rapists and saying that their label as sex offenders will “haunt them for the rest of their lives.”

In reality, the victims are the ones who will always be haunted by their attack.

In a culture that focuses on how not to get raped, maybe it’s time to start telling people not to rape, and to try to support and understand the victims we likely encounter every day.

No matter what a person’s outfit or alcohol level says, if their mouth is saying “no,” that’s the only answer that matters.

If you or someone you know has been the victim of sexual abuse, contact the police or a local crisis center at 1-800-656-HOPE. Even simply telling a friend or trusted authority figure can be the first step toward feeling safe again.