The term “sex-worker” applies to more people than many people think. Lingerie and toy shops, contraception companies, health clinics, dancers in clubs, strippers and many, many other jobs are part of the American sexual economy without any sort of prostitution. And while illegal, prostitution still occurs in every state. The Bureau of Justice posts that there were 836 arrests for prostitution and commercialized vice in Washington in 2010.

When considering the internet, the market stretches on even further, employing millions of workers across the country, with their audience stretching across the globe. Again, the form this work takes varies widely, ranging from producers of pornography to simple “Cam Girls” posting videos for some extra cash. This work, while entirely legal, carries a heavy stigma among many people. While those in the industry feel their work is legitimate, it may be a long road for it to be accepted across the country.

One such worker, J, answered questions about her experiences in her work.

So to start, what sort of sex work do you take part in?

What I do is entirely online. I offer sexting services, role-play sessions, training sessions, Domination sessions, custom photosets, used clothing sales, etc. All of these interactions can be done via text, audio, or video from my computer or phone.

What was the thought process that led you to sex work?

I’m a college student who works on campus, so during the summer I don’t have a set job. Applying to food services places has been a nightmare and I just don’t have the ability to commute to a job every day due to my living situation. My roommate has been a sex worker for two years so I started doing videos with her for extra cash. It turns out I really don’t like doing custom videos for sale, so I started doing one-on-one sessions with clients instead, which I feel much better doing.           

What have been the difficulties that you have experienced since starting?

The constant stress of dealing with men who just want to harass you for free porn is probably the most difficult part of the job for me. You can easily block them, but there are so many of them throughout the day and it can get really stressful.

I know your friends/ household are somewhat aware, but have you in general treated this job differently than a non-sex-industry job? And how?

I actually don’t get treated differently by people I know. My roommate is also a sex worker, we have a third roommate who is completely fine with our jobs and lifestyles, and my friends are all supportive of my choices. My partner accepts it really well, too. It’s just normalized for the people in my life. They know I’m happy and that I’m making enough money to support myself, so they really don’t treat me differently. They do ask for lots of stories, though.

What are the benefits, or your favorite things about sex work? What do you find rewarding?

The control I have over my own finances and schedule is amazing. I can choose when to work, how long to work for, whom I work with, what I want to do. It gives me so much control over my job that you never get outside of this industry. I personally find it really empowering to work on my own and not with a company or organization that polices my actions. I feel like I’m in total control of my life when I’m doing something I enjoy to make a living.

What legal concerns have you had to consider? Do you feel protected under state and national law?

The work is do is all legal, so that’s not really a concern of mine. However, the issues I face are things like “which payment service can I use without having my account deleted due to violating their policy?” or “what am I going to file my income under when I do taxes?”

What advantages or abilities have the internet given you in this career?

My job would not be as safe and easy as it is if I didn’t have the internet as a means to communicate with people without giving away personal information.

What disadvantages has it given you?

The internet makes it really easy for people to harass you and/or waste your time. Anyone from all over the world can message me for services, but a very small percentage of the messages I get are from people who wish to be paying clients.

Are there forms of sex-work that you feel should be banned? Why?

I support the legalization of all consensual sex work. I believe in regulation within the industry to help keep workers safe and healthy. I think many of them face problems due to the stigma against their job, and I strongly believe that needs to end.

How do you feel about concerns from some circles, such as Page Mellish, that sex work is an antagonist to equality?

I think people often assume that sex work is degrading and while that can be true for some people, that has not been my experience. I think equality means giving sex workers the same choices when it comes to their occupation and their bodies as anyone in non-sex work.

What do you feel is the genuine distinction between sex work and human trafficking?

Enthusiastic consent! Being forced into sex work doesn’t make you a sex worker, it makes you a victim of sex trafficking. Minors into sex work are victims of human trafficking. Consent is the really important distinction between what I consider a horrible crime and what I believe is a rightful choice.

What would an ideal sex industry (legality wise, attitude wise, workers rights-wise)  look like to you?

Acceptance from the general population and a disassociation from the words “whore” and “slut.” I am a professional at work, and I feel like the disrespect the general population has for sex workers is really misguided hostility. Ideally, this would just be another job in society. It would normalize the field for workers and make clients less anxious about seeking sessions.

What kind of effect do you feel you have on your clients. Is it positive?

I’ve never had a complaint. I check in all the time after a session to make sure everything is good and most of them time my clients are blissed-out from the session. They feel relaxed and mellow, and that makes me happy.

What kind of effect do your clients have on you?

They make me happy, especially my regulars. I really do love working with them and it’s a fantastic feeling to have these relationships with otherwise lonely people who are just the sweetest sometimes. They treat me with respect and I respect them back. My regulars make me very happy.

What sort of value can a sex-worker, such as a sexual surrogate, have to the sexual health and development of an individual?

Most of my clients are just looking for some intimacy. They wanted to be treated like a human being and they just want some attention. I also get a lot of clients who are ashamed of their sexual interests. My job is to make them feel comfortable about their sexuality so long as it’s consensual and safe. A lot of the time, when I ask clients how they feel after their first session, they say, “relieved.”

What sort of things will make you decide not to see a client?

I think most sex workers develop a kind of sixth sense when it comes to know which people are going to be clients and which people are wasting your time. Every paying client I have ever had has been nothing but respectful to me. Clients are professional in working out details, even if they are nervous. This makes disrespect and harassment huge indicators that the person I’m speaking with isn’t going to become a client, and that they’re just wasting my time.

Do you feel safe with your clients?

Yes. Most of them are more afraid of me exposing them as sexual deviants than I am of them. Though, keep in mind that I work online, so that’s not really the same as meeting clients in real life. I would not feel safe doing that as of where I am right now.