Commentary
Tamara Kelly

Mother’s Day is May 13, and while it’s meant to be a day of celebration and gratitude for our mothers, it can easily turn into a day of frustration, guilt and remorse for them.

As the mother of five children I have felt this within my own life. Hearing from my children how much I have screwed up their lives and made them miserable still weighs heavily upon my heart, especially on Mother’s Day.

At first I thought it was my own insecurities I was being faced with, but when I talked with other mothers and asked if they had felt the same way on Mother’s Day. I got a resounding echo of consensus for the guilt, frustration, and remorse many mothers feel in raising children.

The idea that mothers aren’t allowed to make mistakes, take time out for themselves, or be unable for volunteering appears to be part of the problem. Trying to be super mom while taking on even more continues to add to the pressure that plagues our hearts today.

We know we can’t do it all and be the “perfect mom” and yet we still try to do it all. We work towards having the career, 2.5 children, immaculate decorated house, home-cooked meals and respectful children.

Then let’s add graduating from school(for a few of the moms out there like me) on top of the already huge pile of daily obligations that go along with motherhood.

The Statement, “but, you chose to be a mom” can be put into question. While that’s true and I’m ecstatic to have all five of my children, I have to wonder if the pressure for being the “perfect mother” is an outdated idea.

We still cling to from the days of June Clever to Carol Brady, which happen to be fictional characters and unrealistic expectations.

Maybe reforming the stereotype of what super moms are like is the answer for mothers to eliminate the constraints we sometimes find ourselves in.

Accepting we can’t do it all and that we may not want to may give us the freedom to create a new version of what the modern mother is actually like and changing it to a more realistic perception.

The best gift a mom can receive this Mother’s Day is from herself. Reminding ourselves that we’re doing the best we can, with the knowledge we have.

And realizing that all children want is a mother that listens and is present in their lives.

This grants us the right to give up the frustration, guilt, and remorse that is wrapped up with the feelings we have towards Mother’s Day and changes it to a day of gratitude, acceptance, and celebration.