Dear Rylee,

I am a 19 year old college student here at Pierce and this is my first quarter. I have found that I am having the hardest time making friends. I have always been quiet and reserved, but connecting with people seems to be harder than I thought, it is like jumping onto a speeding train from a tricycle. My advisor says I just need to be more open and that I should join groups, the problem is I don’t have time for all that those groups demand of their members since I am carrying an over full course load. What should I do? I have tried to be more open and make conversation but I don’t seem to click with anyone! I don’t want it to be like this when I go to a University! Please Help!

Lonely at Pierce

Dear Lonely,

Sometimes getting to know people can be hard, especially in a community college environment where people have families and work outside of the class. This environment is much different than a university where many students there are your age and are there just to learn. Don’t let someone who hasn’t been in school in years tell you how to meet people, although I am sure your advisor means well, I am well aware of what it means to bear the load of twenty plus credits on top of working and being a part of a club. Do what feels natural to you!

Ask yourself what you are really looking for. Are you looking for a friend or do you just want to meet people? If it is the latter then try striking up a conversation with someone who has something in common with you; like someone in your class. Don’t be gender specific either, men have just as much smarts and fun to contribute to the world as women.  Strike up a conversation about the class you are sharing and maybe ask for help if you find you have an area that you don’t understand that they do. Remember, friendship doesn’t always come automatically like it does in high school it is something that can take a little time.

Remember that you want to appeal to people. Don’t look scared or shy. Smile and be warm. Ask someone in your class if they want to go out to lunch or something similar to study with you. Invite a group! When you get to a university you will have plenty of opportunities to get to know people a lot easier than you can at a community college. You will have your dorm mate and the people who share your major that is not always the case here.

You can do it. Think positively and remember be the person you want people to see.

Best of Luck!

Rylee