Sex Talk by Marty Lobdell

1. Never send or post digital images of your intimate parts or nude body to anyone. It may be “love” at the start, but all relationships end in one way or another. Bad endings may result in images being sent to anyone with access to the web. This could include future partners, friends, family, classmates, employers, etc. Even text messages can come back to bite you. Think before you send.

2. Always think seriously before getting tattoos or piercings. Although they may be way cool now, how will they look in 10, 20, 30 or more years from now? Although some people find body art attractive, others may find it unattractive. If you apply for work in some professions, visible tattoos and some piercings may get you the old, “we’ll call you,” but the call never seems to come. There is something to said for easily reversible body art.

3. Never ask a woman, “Did you come?” Most women find this an extremely upsetting question. A better approach might be, “is there anything else, I can do, to pleasure you?” A corollary to this is to never ask, “Do you fake orgasms?”  Most women admit they have, but regardless of what they answer to you, you won’t like the answer. She might tell you, “yes” she fakes, and you will likely feel hurt. Or she may say, “no” and you’ll wonder if she is lying to you.

4. Never ask your partner, “do these pants make my butt look big?” Any answer is a potential minefield. If you want to know ask your sister, mother, friend, sales person, etc., but not your significant other.

5. Never ask a female partner, “Is my penis big enough?” No matter what she says you’ll not be happy with the answer (see #3 above for details). If she is with you, you must be adequate. Just so you know, contrary to what online penis enlargement scams claim, most women do not want a huge penis in them (there are, indeed, some that do like big penises). Most say that a normal size penis is much more comfortable. Many women also claim that size is of little importance to them. It is the man and not the penis that makes the magic. All in all, men are much more concerned about penis size than are most women.

6.Never expect to live happily ever after, unless you die shortly after starting a relationship. All relationships eventually have problems. It is better to face this reality and try to resolve problems as they arise. Studies done at the Couples Laboratory at the University of Washington, found that happy couples had about the same number of issues as unhappy couples. The key difference was that happy couples listened and were responsive, when their partners had a complaint. The researchers noted that women usually knew to do this, while men seemed to not quite get the importance of listening and being responsive.

7. Never act in an intimate manner only to gain sexual access. Women are put-off by a partner who is only “nice” when wanting sex. Many men who claim that their partners are not sexually responsive, would find them far more responsive if they did the following. Help with house work and child care, go for quiet walks, talk about their day in the evening.  Hug, cuddle, kiss, massage etc. without expecting intercourse. Another researcher at the University of Washington, claims that men are generally very aware when they want sex, but that women areas aware when they want sex. Some times, a little intimate activity may stir her sexual desire. Don’t be nice, just as a way to gain sexual access or you’re back to square one (see above).